My Mind Makes Noises (2018) by Pale Waves

I first discovered this band back in late 2017 when the music video for their song "Television Romance" hit my recommended feed, and subsequently I really loved the entire album when it came out. However, since about 2019, I hadn't really revisited it because I find I have to be in the right headspace. This album fits the music trope of "fun sounds, but holy shit the lyrics" because it's clear a lot of emotional experiences were utilized in the crafting of the songs. Sometimes I like "pain-infused" music like this because it's weirdly cathartic to listen to it when my own headspace is similarly jumbled.

It does feel odd to return to an album I recall playing on repeat so many years ago, a revitalization of a hyperfixation. Like I awoke the sleeping appreciation and now I get to experience the rush of dopamine from the lovely sounds all over again - a lot of my media consumption is cyclical like that. My interest waxes and wanes, but it's always there, I never stopped liking this album, I simply took an extended break from it.

The reason for the rediscovery is honestly sillily simple. I had a hours-long drive to endure and whilst carefully fumbling through my liked albums on Spotify and trying to maintain interstate speeds, I saw this in the list, and went, "Huh. Yeah. It's been a little while. Let's go back to that." And then proceeded to play it on repeat for the couple of hours I had left of my drive. It was a fun experience, because certain songs had been so infused into my mind that they were comfortingly familiar, and others were vague memories it was as if I was hearing them for the first time again.

This go around, my favorites are all the ones I didn't give as much attention when the album first came out. "When Did I Lose It All," "She," and "Red" in particular. "She" has this sequence of noises that my brain has latched onto and at this point I've probably spent at least 4 hours listening to that one song on repeat and we're only a day and a half into my rediscovery. Oftentimes my years are defined by a handful of albums I play ad infinitum, and I know this will be one of them for 2024, just as it was in 2018. Cyclical.

Heather's vocals are haunting, and the overall tone of this album is part of one of my favorite genres: synth-pop that's inspired by the 80's. Not to return to the one song I've been fixated on, but "She" in particular strikes me because of how stripped back it is. It gives me a similar feeling to "Hard Times" by Ethel Cain which was a top song for me in 2023. So it makes sense that I'm gravitating towards the song that has slow-burn lyrics and just a few delicious noises to cling to. But the whole album isn't that patient; listening to it all in one go can be a rollercoaster of intense rock-infused noise, bubbly synth-pop melodies, and then this type of quietly contrasting almost religious feeling echo. In that steady up and down, I think it aims to encapsulate a wide range of emotions that can be elicited. Plus, pretty sounds across the whole album scratch that brain itch.

However, now I'm in a bit of a paralysis where I want to listen to their newest album and singles, but also don't want to because I know the excitement of a new song is limited. So now I'm stuck playing my new favorites from this album on repeat until I feel brave enough to venture into the rest of the discography.